The nice thing about senility is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
Loreta Dressel, Nathrop
Our 6-year-old son was asked where his grandma lived. With a no-nonsense expression, he answered,” She lives at the airport and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit we take her back to the airport.”
A thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and when they get to heaven they are stopped by an angel who says, “Sorry, heaven is getting crowded so you need to answer a question correctly before you can get in.”
He looks at the teacher and asks, “What was the name of the famous ocean liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?”
“That’s easy,” she says. “The Titanic.”
Having answered the question correctly, the angel lets her into heaven.
The angel turns to the thief and asks, “How many people died on that ship?”
“That’s a tough one,” the thief answers. “But I saw the movie and it was 1,517.” The angel then moves aside to let the thief into heaven.
Finally, the angel turns to face the lawyer and says, “Name them.”
Michael Taylor, Fort Collins
Our 4-year-old grandson was sitting at the breakfast table eating while listening to his grandpa and me discussing something. He was hanging on to every word, taking it all in. Unexpectedly he looked at me and said seriously, “Grandma, you just know too much. Maybe you should start forgetting some things.”
Grandma Wanda, Buena Vista
After a full day of fishing and not getting as much as a bite, a fisherman went back to shore, loaded up his boat and started for home. On the way he decided to stop at a fish market.
“Throw me six of the biggest fish you have,” he said to the man behind the counter.
“Throw them? Why?” the man asked.
“I’m going to catch them,” the fisherman said. “ I may be a lousy fisherman, but I’m not a liar.”
Taylor Hudnall, Fort Collins
April Funny Stories